What to talk about online dating messages
Dating > What to talk about online dating messages
Click here: ※ What to talk about online dating messages ※ ♥ What to talk about online dating messages
I guess one could say that the last couple of weeks of mine have been hectic when it comes to my responsible life but it was worth it. Comscore ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends plus plenty of failures along the wayhe launched this met. Marketing Google AdSense This is an ad network. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. There are ways to ensure an enjoyable online date.
When it comes on online dating, I'm rooting for the dudes. I would prefer to see them do well than do poorly... I would not have thought this to be the case- one of the benefits of online dating is that guys have the time, anonymity, and resources to be suave... But after making my own happy little profile on OKCupid and watching the messages slide in, I have to say... Guys, you deserve some action. So let's go over what NOT to say when reaching out to all those lovely ladies. I'll provide real examples, of course with proper protections of anonymity applied. Even if you know better than to make these mistakes, you might find them funny. I am not here to offer relationship advice. I do not date, nor did I join OKCupid looking to date. I make it very clear on my OKCupid profile that I'm only on the site to check out the UI, which is fantastic, by the by. So folks who message me may not be the brightest OKCupids bouncing about.... Men, I think, have been conditioned to believe that they can never go wrong when complimenting a woman. This is not always the case, but I'll go out on a limb and say that offline, such compliments in the pursuit of boy-girl relations are a safe way to go. Online, things are different. It's pretty much a given that nobody is going to contact you unless they're cool with the image s you uploaded. So compliments on images are pretty much pointless. They might also come across as a bit creepy. But maybe that's just me. Some examples: Hi there. Hi, You look great! Another very generic message. If you'd like to compliment another user on her appearance, I recommend explaining why. Before it was flagged and moderated, for example, my OKCupid profile image had me in a full body goose suit. Perhaps this bachelor could have explained why I looked great in my giant goose costume. I understand that it takes time and effort to send lots of messages to lots of people on OKCupid, which would be my approach if I were looking for action. It helps to cast a wide net, right? That said, sending form messages is not the way to go. We live in an age of spam and unwanted form emails. We can spot them a mile away. I'm vegan, like to meditate, go to a lot of shows, read a lot. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? You're cute and seem cool. What's your week usually like? Can I txt you? Another mistake here: describing stuff that is already in his profile. Find something in each user's profile that you could comment about, and make the first message about that. What made you decide to give up meat? And I can see how that would be somewhat traumatic. And how easy it would be to mislead people. So sure, some guys on OKCupid are a bit shell shocked, which may explain some of my more favorite messages received: Hi are we a T girl? But for the sake of thoroughness, I would like to recommend that OKCupid users not broach this subject until later in conversations. It should go without saying that proper English has a leg up, at least in initial conversations. Anyone can write poorly or in shorthand, so it is far more impressive to use proper grammar to start with. Why folks opt to use poor grammar in a first message escapes me- especially when real English rolls out in subsequent messages! Perhaps the English language really is devolving, and not even into lolspeak. While text speak and slang may be a bit of a turnoff, poor grammar is a total death sentence. Consider this example: First that all great pictures. I'm 29 years old, nice man, I had been living in San Francisco since 2002. I love to enjoy what this nice city offert us, as a restaurants, bars, clubs, parks, beaches, I'm giants and lakers fun. I also like to do exercises as a run, play soccer in a legue every Sunday. I also like to watch sports. Of course i have my job that i love it, and also i go to school. Tell me more about you. Note the odd capitalizations and lack thereof, errant spaces, and improper word usages. Alas, though this is a friendly enough message, its well-meaning sender has made himself look to careless to merit a response. Some examples: Hi , May I know your name please? I like your profile and would like to know more about you. Would you like to talk to me as a friend? You can shoot your questions too. You might look at this and think that, slight grammar mistakes aside, this is a perfectly fine message. Even if your email is great, that initial beginning might be enough to sour the potential affections of your mark, as the subconscious thoughts of spam messages that that opening line left may leave an unpleasant feeling in her mind. Girls, I am told I wouldn't know , are not super big on guys who are only interested in themselves. In the online dating realm, it's a safer bet to avoid anything that might hint at self-importance before proving one of the above factors. Even borderline cases are not worth the risk: Hello. Your profile is full of personal'ty. Message me ba'k after reading my profile. Giving another user homework read my profile is not a good way to start things off. It might be better to allude to having things in common or to offer a compliment of the target's taste in books, movies, or music. OKCupid enables users to smile, wink, favorite, and visibly stalk each other, so if you don't feel like writing a complete message, don't write one at all. Sending over messages like: silly Sally! I, for example, already know that I'm a silly Sally, I can see your username already, I would have probably messaged or stalked a user if I were interested, and I don't know quite how to respond to such brief commentary. I have, unfortunately, been off and on OKCupid for about 4 years now. Although I have met some decent people, the successes are marginal in comparison with the losers who have contacted me, putting only the tiniest bit of effort into their message. You aptly described the worst ways to go about messaging someone on OKCupid. My biggest pet peeve is the first on the list, the lame comments on one's appearance. Thanks for sharing this hub! Like a recipe, or like acting. I guess, the US people have been educated by TV movies, where all is acting. Be it for once. Both when sending a message and when receiving one. I want to be told, he should say something like, I should tell about, I should be acting like, and so, and so, and so. You are totally wrong. THAT is why you are single. You are not yourself. You don't believe in yourself. Who else do you want to be if not yourself? Speak the most natural way of yours possible and don't worry about the smallest thing. You will learn how to communicate in a proper way with the opposite sex in time. I have received messages like Hi, how are you. What an amazing lady she was. Or funny messages like Do you think bla bla. Again a great person. When you are honest you cannot go wrong, unless you are talking to the wrong person. And get off internet dating for a while and start looking for people on the streets. Yes, I know it's a tabu in the american culture, but that's where people are the more natural and where you can actually SEE someone you know it's likable. Why not make a step and ask a stupid question like do you know what time is it with a glaze for the ladies. You might tumble over a guy who is prepared for such encounter. But I think one thing this article left out was elaborating on the length of the messages. Coming from a couple months of experience now, I used to write super long messages telling girls my life story, and I'd get maybe one response in 100. Since then I've shortened my messages to maybe one or two lines and have gotten much more responses This article helped me out: I think what we need to remember is that these dating sites are NOT like interviewing for a job where you need to sell yourself, but rather showing that we are comfortable with who we are and being personable. If only guys actually would read this... I've gotten some incredibly hilarious emails on that site. The most recent long one was epic. I copied it to Facebook... And then there was the really long poem from a would-be politician he talked about his plans for running for various high-level positions after the poem. And the one I received tonight... It was sent at 5:52 pm. It's a treasure trove of hilarious stuff! And some good guys, but a treasure trove of amusement. I got sick of receiving messages about how 'nice luscious lips' I have or people regurgitating info they wrote on their profile or just saying 'hi how are you' without really starting a conversation. But as a social experiment thing.. Good point about the original, short messages- though I would advise against sending the same message out to a large number of people. Personalized messages do best. I disagree about the jerk thing. Though to each his own. At any rate, thanks for the comment and feedback! It's nice to hear some differing opinions. First, the only thing most women care about are your pictures, so use good ones. It is probably better to use old pictures that are good than new pictures that are bad. Second, the Okcupid article on their data claims that a longer message gets more replies, but not enough to make it worthwhile typing long messages. Had they run their data as a hypothesis test, or a confidence interval test it looks like message length would be irrelevant. So what does that mean? It means create original, but short messages that take almost no time. Send these messages to a huge number of people. Third, sadly just like meeting people in person, most women want a man that is kind of a jerk. Do this in your message. It is better not to even act like you give a shit about them or their interests. This is what they want in life, and it will work on the internet too. As long as you aren't sending incoherent messages that are barely passable as English the rest is pretty irrelevant really. EYECOLOU HAIRCOLOUR ETC WHEN FOR A TERTIARY GRAD LIKE MYSELF THE OPENER HAS 2 BE ONES EDUACATION.... BUT THE BAD GRAMMAR AND MISSPELLINGS HELP ONE DECIDEPRONTO.. THEY TRY 2 MAKE U FEEL ALMOST APOLOGETIC AT BEING EDUCATED.. THE SAME BROOMSTICKS U MEST JUMPOVER IN REAL LIFE SHLDNT DIFFER IN THE ETHER WORLD.. DONT GET ME WRONG NOTHING WRONG WITH EARNING MINIMUMWAGE... BUT NOT WHE U CLAIM UR ADOCTOR... AMUSING 4 DAYS FEMALESQUITE NATURALLY R NOT AS KEEN 2 POST A FOTO 4 REASONS OF PERSONAL SAFETY, AND MANY RESPONDENTS INSIST ON ONE IMMEDIATELY.. POSS RED FLAG SOME SITES PROFIT LITERALLY ON ONES VULNERABILITY.. I could not agree more. Behind the overt idiocy on OKC, there's a LOT to play with, and I love it! I did indeed first come to the site for the UI, which is super fun and inspiring, but from a people watching standpoint, it is really superb. I don't use the site for dating because I don't date, but that doesn't mean that I don't adore it! This article was created, however, with a more targeted goal in mind, since most folks Googling for articles on OKCupid are looking for tips and advice, not conjecture on the various social intricacies of the actual community. I would be fascinated to read your thoughts on the subject, however, so please do let me know if and when you publish that Hub! The overt idiocy on OKC is really easy to see though, but the more interesting aspect of OKCupid is found reading between the lines, not at them. That could be an entire article in itself, which I may write later. I was also disappointed that you found it not worth your time to actually fully engross yourself in the OKCupid experience. Are you already dating someone else? You wanted to check out the UI? Are you a programmer or graphic designer? Good basic article overall. Just wanted more in-depth coverage, though I understand that you artificially limited yourself, for no apparent reason, unless it's top secret. Barbara Ehreneich would have scolded you. Never ever will I use a site or even a newspaper ad to meet someone! When he got out, he had Mr. Magoo glasses, a collar turned up like something out of grease the film, and rupert the bear trousers, or pants as they are called across the pond! It is a fabulous, tongue in cheek? Every time I read anything like this it reminds me of a guy I knew in London, an independent freelance writer, who decided to do research in to the online dating world. She actually got stopped by a suitor in a supermarket. Think I'll stick to fishing these days, in my old age... And yeah, dating site horror stories are my favorite- and the experience your relative had is pretty horrific! At least it makes for a good tale. LOL LiamBean- nice one! Hahaa, yeah, not looking forward to that, but it's certainly worth all the other funny misadventures. Thank goodness for flagging, no? But I sure do love online dating sites. One must be careful! But I also argue in favor of having fun and amusing oneself while minimizing collateral damage ; So true, drbj. It happens to the best of us. I'm pretty removed from the dating scene too, JSParker, but am glad to introduce more folks to one bastion in the realm of online dating! AP stands for Advanced Placement, an echelon of higher-work-load high school classes. I have many fond memories of the AP classes I enjoyed back in the day. Thank you for voting the Hub up, alocsin! Is there anything so divine in life as precariousness? Even so dating services are too similar to chat rooms where danger exists from predators. You mentioned that too in your post—girls who are not girls saying they are girls. Knowing of this danger I would not advise one to use Internet dating. Well I do compliment him for going from New Jersey to meet him, in Russia to see if she really is a girl. Psalm 26:4 You can judge a book by its cover is the saying. Slang, misspelled words, jargon, and poor grammar is an immediate turn-off. Good show, and I agree. I've never heard of that site, and I've never, EVER understood the anonymity thing. I'm partially aware of my dating problems. I'm super fond of. Lady friends in Sand Diego, New Jersey, and. Yes, the Greece in the Mediterranean where Alexander and all of those nitwit philosophers was from. I swear, women that are NOT anywhere near where I am - those gals seem to really like me! Someday, I shall attempt actual dating of women within reach of me. For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: Show Details Necessary HubPages Device ID This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. Login This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. Akismet This is used to detect comment spam. HubPages Google Analytics This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. HubPages Traffic Pixel This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. Amazon Web Services This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. Cloudflare This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. Google Hosted Libraries Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis. Features Google Custom Search This is feature allows you to search the site. Google Maps Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. Google Charts This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. Google AdSense Host API This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. Google YouTube Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. Vimeo Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. Paypal This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. Facebook Login You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. Maven This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. Marketing Google AdSense This is an ad network. Google DoubleClick Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. Index Exchange This is an ad network. Sovrn This is an ad network. Facebook Ads This is an ad network. Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace This is an ad network. AppNexus This is an ad network. Openx This is an ad network. Rubicon Project This is an ad network. TripleLift This is an ad network. Say Media We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. Remarketing Pixels We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. Conversion Tracking Pixels We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. Statistics Author Google Analytics This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. Comscore ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. Amazon Tracking Pixel Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products.
Last updated
